Twists and turns!!

She was right! "How on earth is someone like you" she said "with a girl like that?? She is way out of your league, dude!!" I realized the hardest way possible how right she was..
I always wanted one thing so badly in my life- to give her more happiness than I possibly can imagine of. Sometimes I wonder at the irony of life. My imagination fell short of her expectations. No matter how hard I tried, happiness was always an illusion.
I always wanted to have the perfect relationship for us. I so wonder at the sarcasm of life. Even something near perfection was always a mirage of a mirage.
I always saw others breaking apart and thought 'mine will be stainless'. Life mocks in wonderful ways. Stains never evaded us right from the starting to the end.
Sometimes I think I was the one at fault, sometimes I know so. How can she do something wrong when she is such an epitome of perfection? When she is so out of my league, I must have been the one to screw it up..
I clearly remember making so many promises, all lost somewhere- washed away with the flow of events turning around the courses of life.
Maybe it was for the general good..maybe it was for her's..maybe it wasted me forever..maybe it saved me from it..
Whatever it is, i know for sure that it definitely killed a part of me. Cause i made vows that I could not keep.
No matter how badly I want her to come back and scream at me for all the stuff i sucked at, I know she has moved on long back and I am never going to get another shot at it though I cannot possibly explain that I am willing to trade anything for a 2nd chance..
Be happy girl..That is all I pray for today..and i will forever..